Failure

     I never cease to be amazed at how we can be patient and kind with people outside our family, but can be so quick tempered with the ones we love. Yes, I struggle with this. A lot. Especially during those frustrating times in life. Just like a teapot, things start boiling inside and you can't let that steam off at strangers or customers. Instead, your family gets scalded. Why do we do this?! Why can I not stop doing this?! Oh, right. It's become a habit. That's why. Argh!

     So between my biting off loved ones' heads, lackluster prayer life, nearly non-existent personal Bible study, and my usual selfishly-caught-up-in-my-own-problems problem, I feel like a failure. Failing my God. Failing my family. Failing my friends. "How did I get to this point?" I ask myself. Oh, right. See above. And I realize that we all travel valleys and mountains in our walk with God. And that that's okay. Whatever unbalanced person that got it started that a Christian has to be on a spiritual high with God all the time or there's something wrong with you, has something seriously wrong with them. So, I guess right now I'm lost in the woods. Wait. A better description would be a boat adrift. I can see the shore. I know what I'm supposed to be doing, but I'm floundering.
  
     There's the root of my feelings of failure. (light bulb moment!) I know what needs to be done in this relationship with my Savior, but I've not been putting forth the effort. There He sits, waiting patiently for me. But I'm too busy. You know what's crazy? I'm too busy for the things that will soothe away the stresses of my day. How dumb is that?! Confession #2 - I'm a dumb human. In times like this I just want to run away to a quiet monastery for three months and soak up the tranquility. To take quiet walks, write, and say my prayers while stargazing. But this is not possible. Okay, it would be possible if I quit my job and and hitch-hiked to some uber awesome monastery in England. Which, yeah, would go over like a lead balloon with some important people named Dad and Mom.

     So, I'll have to create some sort of monastery for myself. Carve out some quiet time each day. Live more purposefully. Be more gentle at home. Remember that He is my strength and peace.

Note: Sorry if this didn't flow well! I haven't written for a long time but knew I needed to get it going again. So here it is in all it's messy glory!

{too, too long...}

Yes, it has been too long. But I shall not dwell on that and bore you to tears. You're welcome. So, the other day I was thinking, imagine that, and I realized I don't have to write long blog posts. I can write short ones. What's going on in my world, ponderous thoughts, the creative highs and lows of life, the spiritual highs and lows. In other words, a person doesn't have to write a whole article for it to be cerebral. With that in mind I have a recent personal spiritual lesson.

Last month I painted my grandmother's kitchen and dining room. Goodbye brown, hello sage green! Once I was finished with that she had a border she wanted me to put up. I have a preference for as few seams as possible when it comes to wallpaper so I thought I'd put up the full 15' length of the border. By myself. After I had fought with this long, long strip of wet paper and got it folded over to book I was still feeling fairly confident. Booking time done I climbed up the step ladder and began the ordeal. Do you know how quickly things can go south when you are overly confident and under prepared? Fast. It wasn't long and that border was obviously not going to do what it was made to do: stick. So, before a bad situation turned worse I laid out the border on the floor to dry. I could at least salvage it later. I then turned my heart to God and prayed, "Okay, yes, I get the message. I got in over my head because of course I *knew* what I was doing. Help me through the rest of this because I'm going to need it. You are strong when I am weak and 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me' " God had baked up a nice humble pie and had a thick slice steaming and ready for me. A person doesn't like to think of themselves as proud, but guess what, even if we are not in general a prideful individual there are areas of our life or skills that we think we're pretty good at. And we sure might be. But how noxious of a weed is pride? How soon before it invades other aspects of our life? After that experience I was glad God baked humble pie that day. It was tasty! But I think anytime our Heavenly Father frees us from some sin or burden there is that sweet taste of freedom. "Good and upright is the Lord; Therefore He instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in justice, and He teaches the humble His way. All the paths of the Lord are lovingkindness and truth to those who keep His covenant and His testimonies." - Psalm 25:8-10 By the way, the wallpapering became much easier when I took it in manageable wall sized chunks and better preparation. Lesson of the day - humility is a beautiful thing.

HSA National Reunion {day 4}

Finally! I am getting this posted! I like to think of it this way - I haven't procrastinated, I've extended my enjoyment of the reunion.

Well we woke up Sunday morning knowing it was the last day of the reunion. Horrible feeling really knowing that everything wonderful about the reunion was soon to be no more. But we crawled out of our beds and got ready and headed off to the mess hall for breakfast. Then we went back to our dorms to pack up. I helped load up the van. All that experience helping Daddy load up the camping gear payed off. Especially now that we had more luggage to pack in because a couple more girls were joining us for the trip home. After that we had our last Hymn Sing.

Then we trekked down to the Bear Claw one last time for the closing ceremony. *frowns* I didn't want it to end. It was a strange feeling, part of me wanted this to go on and part of me was ready to go home. But we still had a little time left together and that was solace enough. Next we ate lunch. One last meal of some of the best campfood in the world with some of my favorite people in the world. After that we milled about saying our goodbyes and taking pictures with our friends.

people saying their goodbyes in front of the dining hall

Before we knew it it was time to leave. We piled into the van and set off, on our way to Garden of the Gods where quite a few of the reunion goers were going to spend a little extra time. It was supposed to take us about 30 minutes to get there, but due to construction and the effect on traffic it took us about an hour and a half. Creeping and crawling our way along we were able to carry on a couple of conversations with other HSAers in their cars next to us. One of the girls even took a nap in the back seat. And much to my astonishment, I learned that the Paul sisters knew the Willie Nelson song "On the Road Again." Just as a joke I sung the only lyrics I knew, "On the road again...." and they took off and sang the whole song! *laughs* I wish I had a picture of the shocked expression on my face.

We finally arrived at Garden of the Gods and were glad to get out and stretch our legs. Wow! What a view! We were not able to explore much of the park due to time constraints, but that is a place I would like to see again. It was absolutely incredible to see these huge red rocks. So much to see, all the varied shapes and textures of the rocks, it was a gorgeous scene.

yours truly at Garden of the Gods

Let the homeschool invasion begin! We set off as a group on one of the trails and stopped part way into the park to explore and wander about in one of the rock groupings. We stayed there for a while actually, and our carpool group didn't go in any further because we had to leave. *sighs* Stupid clock and schedule.

a few of the carpool girls and other friends

more people, including some of the Naylors and Noel in that adorable red hat

Pretty soon the van and Justin's cranky car were back on the road. Back to Kansas and Iowa and Arkansas and Missouri. We got in really late to Erin and Amber's and snuck downstairs to the basement. Oh wow, did sleep feel good that night. Thanks to a dark basement we were able to sleep in the next day. Got up and dragged ourselves upstairs for breakfast. The girls had made scones! Yum! We called Justin to see how he was doing. His car refused to start after we got a bite to eat before we made it out of Colorado. He was fine and getting the car worked on that morning. I called my parents to let them know they could start driving up to get me.

Last time in the carpool van as we made our way to Salina where they would drop me off. Said our last goodbyes and we went our seperate ways. We didn't get very far before I realized I had left my expo box and Keen shoes in the van. Too late! Oh well, I knew who had them and could get them back in little while. Home bound now and it felt good.

I thoroughly enjoyed my weekend with my homeschool family! All the wonderful memories, blessings, and fellowship I will cherish for the rest of my life. And it is my firm belief that roadtrips are the best!

Now, as promised, here are the links to the videos from the reunion.

If A Bear Is Running At You Clap Your Hands - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5p5DfnyhmRk

And the dance off - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLak10jw82Q

Enjoy! And you have my permission to roll on the floor laughing.

HSA National Reunion :day 3:

Hello, dear readers! Good news for you, since the reunion is a few months behind me, I no longer remember every little detail. But that's okay because I want to finish this and move on, so here we go...

Woke up Saturday to another gorgeous Colorado morning. Got ready and called home. Then ate breakfast. I'm liking this short version a lot better, how about you? :o) Had another Hymn Sing. The morning session was Eric & Leslie Ludy, who brought us a message about living your life, a sold out life, for Christ. It was awesome! Eric and Leslie touched our hearts and urged us onto higher spiritual plains. I'll never forget Eric's version of David fighting Goliath. I think there's a video of it on youtube, if you can find it watch it! Or I'll find it in a few days and post the link here.

the lovely ladies

After the message from Eric and Leslie, Jill asked a few of us ladies if we would like to go on a walk with her. So, we did and here are the pictures of the scenery and some of the girls. First pic is of the mountains in the distance. Second pic is most of my walking companions and the next pic was taken on our way back.

isn't Colorado stunning?!

Next thing we knew it was time for lunch and I'm sure it was yummy even though I don't remember what we had. lol! Besides, I was too hungry to care. After that I went to get ready for the second, and final, day of the Entrepreneur Expo. Which was less busy due to the Swing dance and a couple of "breakout" sessions. Oh well, it gave us a breather.

Afternoon session was the Roundtable Discussion. Interesting as always. Stick a bunch of homeschoolers in a room together and ask them what their opinion is on various topics and you're sure to get some new perspective to ruminate over.

Time to eat again! Our last supper at the reunion. After supper we took the group picture. Then we meandered over to the Bear Claw for the HSAIR Talent Show. One of my friends decided to mix things up a bit by declaring he would wear a kilt to the next reunion ECD and asked who would join him. *laughs* You can imagine the mixture of responses! One guy said he would, he already had a kilt and was looking for an excuse to wear it. Several guys gave flat out refusals. Girls, too, were a mixed bag. Some thought it would be cool, some thought it would be horrible. Anywhoo...the talent show was great, but the highlight of the evening came from somthing other than what was actually part of the talent show. So, the previous couple of days people had been nominated for several yearbook type questions with decidedly homeschool twists. To cut to the chase, one of them was, "Most likely to make people wonder why 'socialization' was ever a concern with homeschoolers." And the vote was Riley Spiller with 25% and Doug Plagemann right behind him with 24%. Well, Camden got the brilliant idea to have a dance off between Doug and Riley. And they did. We were in stitches it was so hilarious! I'll post the video link for this too.

Moving on, after the talent show a lot us stayed at the Bear Claw to hang out and listen to more awesome jazz music and sign more autograph books. I tumbled into bed just before midnight. About the same time, the chocolate party in our dorm was getting started. I thought about joining them for just a little bit, 15 or 30 minutes, but then told myself "yeah right, once you get in you're not going to want to leave." Wise choice. Not long after I turned in I heard singing drift up from the lobby. First it was "Sisters" by Irving Berlin, then it was "White Christmas", and then a hymn and I finally started to doze. I learned the next morning that the girls had stayed up until 3am singing! Since it was the last night of the reunion they decided to go all out. Whew! And it was just my luck that I missed their singing "The Twelve Days of Christmas." Who wants that stuck in their head as they try to sleep!?

Well, this is all for now. The next post will be the final day of the reunion and our trip to Garden of the Gods. Stay tuned...

home and away

Okay, so I know I should be writing up the third installment of my HSA reunion experience, but I don't have the pics on my laptop. That's right...laptop. So, instead I will gleefully post this short update on my life from my laptop since I finally got the internet on it at home. Unfortunately it isn't wireless, but I'm not complaining.

Over the weekend we had our third ECD this year. It was great fun, as usual. But, the lack of guys made us girls positively irked. I swear, I am determined to wear a button down shirt and tie to the next dance. Then it will be less confusing for the other girls dancing, including myself. *laughs* Next dance the girls will have their revenge! Mwahahah!

The weekend before that I went down to Oklahoma with a couple of friends to go to the 3rd Annual Naylor Get Together. Another Homeschool Alumni event. I hadn't been before, but I plan on going in coming years. We had a lot of fun. Duh. I am thoroughly convinced no other set of people knows how to have fun like homeschoolers. Played volleyball, had a bonfire, impromptu ECD, and the usual chatter of like minds. The hospitality of the Naylor family was friendly and warm. It was great meeting new people and seeing a couple of friends again.

I recently broke down and signed up with Facebook. Now I'm re-building my HSA friends list on that website. It's fun but a little confusing. Facebook isn't the most straight forward site. Maybe it's just me...

Well, I had better wrap this up. I'm off to change the blog colors to something more Fall like.

Homeschool Alumni National Reunion 2009 {day 2}

Wow, have I fallen behind. But now I'm back. So, day two of the reunion dawned clear and cool. Great weather! First thing on my agenda, after a shower, was to call home. It felt so good to talk to Mama. Most of my homesickness went away after that. Now I was ready to face the day. After breakfast was praise and worship time. Some friends organized a hymn singing for those who didn't want to participate in the former. So, I headed over to the chapel for that. Ah, the sweet music of voices blended over the words of great hymns. Then it was off to the "Bear Claw" for our first session which was with Camden Spiller. Camden is one of the founders of HSA. He spoke on what we as homeschoolers can do to see the homeschool vision through to the next generation. Some great insights, thanks Camden! Had a bit of free time for hanging out before lunch.

here is the chapel on campus

After lunch I headed over to the expo hall to set up my table and do some finishing work before the Entrepeneur Expo opened. I missed out on some stuff, namely the Learn ECD session, since I had to stay at my table the whole two hours. But it was worth it. The girl that organized the expo this year, Allison, her sister Melissa came by and loved my stuff. Talk about excitement, Melissa generates it no problem. She bought a knitted cuff (which are coming soon to the etsy shop!) and a couple of my Pride and Prejudice Bracelets. One for her and one for a friend. I recently heard from that friend and she loves her bracelet! She blogged about it here - adored austin: kate spade/ great trade. Thanks Indiana!

After the expo was the afternoon session with Kevin Swanson. He is awesome, a very emotive speaker who literally uses the whole stage. He speaks with energy and passion. If you ever get the chance to see Mr. Swanson speak, go! You won't be dissapointed. His message to us was very encouraging. He urged us to use our lives and unique gifts as homeschoolers to follow Christ and be His light in this world. He also brought along one of the books he's written, "The Second Mayflower", for us at no charge. Free! Yipee!

part of the fun at the dance was watching the flow of traffic in the balcony

We ate supper next and then headed to our dorms to get ready for the dance! I called home again to talk to Daddy. Had to keep my parents up to date on all the stuff they were missing out on! *laughs* The ECD was a lot of fun! Even if there were more girls than guys. Danced a really fun dance that was new to me called "The Boston Tea Party." We danced from 8:00 to 11:30! There were a couple of breaks, but I was tired! Didn't take me long to fall asleep that night!

this is kinda blurry, but it's the "posties jig"!

More pictures and days 3 and 4 still to come...

{homeschool alumni national reunion} :day 1:

Okay, so I know I haven't posted in ages, life has been so busy! I got home a week ago from a delightful and wonderful vacation in Colorado with 200+ other homeschoolers. It was the Homeschool Alumni 2009 National Reunion. This was HSA's fourth reunion but the first time I was able to go. I cannot begin to tell about everything that happened over those four days, but I will give some highlights, funny moments, and my thoughts. The new song on the playlist, "Inside Outside" by Delirious?, became our unofficial song during the reunion.

Wednesday, August 12, I packed up and my parents drove me to the spot where my carpool had arranged to pick me up. We all spent the night at a friends house and hit the road bright and early on our way to Larkspur, Colorado. In the van were six excited girls and all our luggage with Justin following in his car. Driving through western Kansas is not my idea of a good time, but the company of friends well made up for the boring scenery. I switched to Justin's car about halfway to keep him company. He was so bored the day before he had resorted to singing songs in a Muppet voice. *laughs* We discussed a variety of topics so there was no need for Muppet voices. After getting lost, isn't that required on road trips?, we arrived safely at our destination.

getting closer to the mountains!

yours truly in the mirror

finally there! woo hoo!

The much anticipated reunion was under way! We hauled our stiff bodies out of the vehicles and headed for registration. I didn't know but a couple other people other than my carpool so they were very kind to "adopt" me. I had met most of them last year in Kansas City at a HSA mini-reunion. Therefore we stuck to each other like glue the first few hours until more people showed up and we could find some familiar faces. Mind you, homeschoolers are almost instant friends, it's the introducing yourself hurdle you have to jump first.

inside the "bear claw" for the opening ceremony

At 5:00pm was the opening ceremony and we all gathered at the main meeting place, which Riley renamed the "Bear Claw" (rawr!) [inside joke]. After that it was time for supper. The place that hosted us, Ponderosa Baptist Conference Center, has great food! Nothing to complain about there! By this time I was getting homesick. I had never been away from home without a family member before so this was a BIG adventure. I called home but nobody answered! Or the cell phone! So I left a voicemail telling them we had arrived safely and I would talk to them later. After that it was time to gather for the "Meet Your Team" session. There were eight teams and I was on the brown team. So we introduced ourselves and played "Do You Love Your Neighbor?" I sat out since I had never played it before, someone else sat it out too. Which was almost as fun as actually being in the game.

Then at 8:30pm we had a bonfire in the fire pit inside the "Bear Claw" (rawr!). Had live jazz music to add to the atmosphere, which was awesome! I stayed until about 10:30 talking to people and soaking up my surroundings. But a warm bed was calling my name so I headed out hoping the next day would be great too.

Coming soon! - Days 2, 3, and 4! Plus more pictures!

{life in general}

Dearie me, I have not posted in quite a while. Last month I got a job writing articles for a local newspaper and I have been adjusting to that. Plus, we've started gardening so there goes more time out of my schedule. At last I get to sit down and blog. I think I'll start with the newest and work my way back.

Last week my allergies kicked in and therefor I have been under the weather. Thankfully I am feeling much better and hopefully by tomorrow will be able to consider myself well. If only my ears would stay popped... Also, last weekend was our second English Country Dance! It went well and we learned a couple of new dances. Afterwards we went out for ice cream. Yum! Ahh, there is nothing like the company of like minded individuals that have come together for an ECD.

I have made a couple of darling (if I may say so) fabric covered bead necklaces and listed them in the Etsy shop. Here is a picture of the "Beatrice" necklace -

I think they will be a great accessory for the Spring and Summer with their cheerful colors.

And now for something that made me very happy. I had my first repeat customer in my Cafe Press store Helluo Librorum this month!!! Huzzah! I think it was the scream heard round the neighborhood. *laughs*

Last month I was approached by one of our friends at church, and a homeschool mom, about writing articles for the newspaper she owns. I agreed even though I had no journalism experience. But I figured a love of writing would make up for what I lacked in know how to start with. I am quickly discovering how much different reporting is than writing short stories, books and poems. And how much I rely on other people to help me. If my contact doesn't call me back or reply to my email, well I'm pretty close to up a creek without a paddle. What is with that anyway, not returning phone calls? Even if you don't want to be interviewed, tell me "no thank you," don't leave me hanging. Anywhooo... But I think the best part is all the things I'm learning about, not just people skills but random facts and more big picture puzzle pieces.

Now it's time for me to end this. I have to email my editor and do a little ironing. Blessings!

{march forth}

Today is the 4th of March. Or with a little play on of words it is March Forth! Just a little reminder early in the year to go forth and live out the year well. Get out there and do something. Or just remember to cherish each day. Even if nothing exciting happened, you were granted another day on this planet to enjoy the beauty around you and to savor simple pleasures. On that thought, in our Sunday School at church we are studying Ecclesiastes. Last Sunday we were in ch. 6 and dwelled on vs. 3. Here is a man that lived long, had a hundred children but did not take pleasure in the good things. Though he had family he wasn't properly buried. I felt as though I had a pretty good grasp on it but yesterday a song on the radio shed new light on the matter. It was Toby Mac's "Lose My Soul" and it suddenly dawned on me, the man in Eccl. 6:3 had gained the world but lost his soul. He was so consumed with the material things in this world that he missed the big picture. Who cares how much money you have, where you live or what you drive. If you are not awed by mountains, oceans and sunrises, if you do not take pleasure in going barefoot in summer or being kissed by a gentle breeze, if you are not happy with a good book, a cup of tea and the company of a dear friend, you have nothing. Don't let life pass by you because you are striving for the temporary things of this world.

"If a man begets a hundred children and lives many years, so that the days of his years are many, but his soul is not satisfied with goodness, or indeed he has no burial, I say that a stillborn child is better than he." - Ecclesiastes 6:3

I ran across this quote from Emily Dickinson the other day and want to share it with you -
"You ask of my companions. Hills, sir, and the sundown and a dog as large as myself."
Sounds pretty good to me, too!

{amusing}

The last few days have provided some humorous happenings. Firstly, one of our neighbors has a new dog and it seems determined to go with them when they leave. You should see that dog gallop after them all the way down the road and around the corner. Then, yesterday evening while we were watching another one of these episodes, yes we are easily entertained, one of the other neighbor dogs decided he would chase the other dog. What a hoot! Recently our cat Sadie has found a new favorite spot to lounge. The leftover little dirtpile next to a Wisteria we transplanted last Fall. Plus with the added bonus of being able to take a dirt bath at the same time, it's her own spa. Sadie's antics never cease to make us laugh.

our Sadie cat

And just this morning Mama, in an effort to help protect our computer, turned of the script and other functions. So I get on to check out what's going on in Homeschool Alumni land and it keeps asking me if it is okay to run the scripts. On every single page! At first it was funny, until I was looking for something on you tube. Well you know that row of currently watched videos that rolls over every however many seconds? Uh-huh...yeah it asked for permission every single rollover which made it nigh impossible to type anything into the search bar. So I would click "yes", type the next letter, click "yes", type the next letter, etc, etc, etc. Bless Mama, she came in and fixed it. I love the everyday amusing things that make me laugh.

Now for some exciting news. I recieved my first check from my Cafe Press store Helluo Librorum! I'm lazy today, link is on the side bar. Huzzah! Plus I wanted to show you one of the things I made for our Etsy shop Some Spare Parts. Again, link is on the left. It's a wooden bangle covered with snippets from a "Pride and Prejudice" book. Don't worry, it was a junk copy I picked up at a garage sale for crafting. That was my only consolation in destroying a classic book.


Something else I've been enjoying recently is a Chris Rice DVD for his "Amusing" album. I love the songs "When Did You Fall", which is on the music player, and "The Final Move." I cried when I heard it. Yeah, it's that good. Awesome, inspiring and touching lyrics and beautiful music. Like C.S. Lewis was able to capture spiritual truths in an understandable format, "The Final Move" gives us a soundbite of truth. It reminds us that no matter what happens, there is hope and that God is soverign and in control. And nothing is a mistake. Things happen for a reason.

It was love that set this fragile planet rolling

Tilting at our perfect twenty-three

Molecules and men infused with holy

Finding our way around the galaxy

And Paradise has up and flown away for now

But hope still breathes and truth is always true

And just when we think it's almost over

Love has the final move

Love has the final move

{to the ends of the world}

Happy Valentine's Day or SAD (Singles Awareness Day) to you, whichever side of the fence you're on. So of course I've been thinking about love recently. And watching Jane Austen movies and romantic comedies, then again I think Pride & Prejudice was the original romantic comedy. But that's a whole other topic. So...what is true love. That term is thrown around without care in my opinion. Most people do not understand what love is, let alone true love. Okay, I know that's harsh, but with today's rampant divorce rate and broken hearts I think I can safely make that assumption. I'm going to start with an example from pop culture. My family likes to watch "Smallville" and the last episode showed a complete upset to the whole Clark & Lana relationship. In a few short words - they can never be together, now that Lana has absorbed a substantial amount of Kryptonite. Then I got to thinking, if what they had was true love why don't they just deal with the fact they will not be able to hug and kiss and instead focus on enjoying each other's company, albeit from across the room. Have we been so conditioned that love is physical contact, not mutual joy in being together? And I realize that the physical is part of married relationships, but that is not the main portion. The other 80% (just throwing out a number) is friendship and companionship. Just the happiness of the being in the same room as your beloved, sharing thoughts and ideas. Am I totally off base? To me true love is being able to follow a man to the ends of the world because you esteem, respect, honor, cherish and love him. Not because he's a great kisser. I acknowledge that I don't fully understand this yet, but what I do know and understand is that Hollywood has deceived us. We no longer understand what true love is, because we have been taught through entertainment that unless it feels good, it isn't love. Forget the real reasons we choose to love people when things get difficult. Now for another example from pop culture. I recently was able to see "Enchanted" and was stunned by the scene in which the couple, who was going through a nasty divorce, was brought to their senses by Amy Adams' character. They called off the divorce saying that they realized you don't give up because of a few hardships. You don't give up the good things because a couple of bad things. I cheered, almost in unbelief, at this championing of love.

We are taught in the Scriptures what true love is. From the first example of God creating a help meet for Adam to the verses in the New Testament telling us that love is patient, love is kind, etc. There's nothing there about the other person being a good kisser or you have fun on dates. Those are not reasons for marrying and if that is to be the foundation of your marriage than you will not be happy. I have been blessed with real life examples of happy, godly marriages. My parents and friends' parents have demonstrated what it is like when you marry the right person for the right reasons. Enough rambling...I pray that everyone that reads this feels the pure love from the only person that can bestow it - God the Creator. He created everything. Us, our feelings and the person that we can't live without here while we remain on this planet.

{inspiration}

So after weeks of no snow we finally got some more winter weather. Woohoo!!! But it all melted today. Bummer. Good thing I got out this morning to capture the frosty scene. I had been longing for a muse and inspiration and it came this morning. In a glorious sunrise that set the landscape to glittering. Here are the fruits of my cold fingers ~

i love how the sunshine makes everything sparkle

frost flowers

and my personal favorite

isn't she sweet! this is in our outdoor room

{purpose of fighting}

A couple of weeks ago I babysat the two young boys of a sweet family from our church that also homeschools. Well we had a good time playing games and watching movies. But as I pondered the events of the day I had to pause and go deeper into the issue of violence. One of the video games we played was Monster Wars and while I am sure it was rated "E" I found it to be very violent. Granted, there was no blood or guts, but I was slightly stunned at the intensity of fighting. I need to clarify that I'm not a person that shies away from violent material. I enjoy watching movies like Lord of the Rings, Batman Begins, and other "hero" films. But the senseless fighting I was confronted with in Monster Wars bothered me. After thinking over it for a few minutes I realized that the video game, and others like it, had no purpose in their warfare. On the other hand characters like Aragorn, Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker, etc. are fighting for something. There is a purpose to their violence. They were not out there decking some Joe Bloke just for the fun of it. No, they singled out those that were threatening what is good in this world and fought with them to put an end to their malice. And the same thing applies to real life. War is not something we want to engage in, but when we run into a force that seeks to do evil we must confront it and do what is within our power to end it. Whether this war is fought across multiple countries against an army that seeks to destroy us and all that we stand for or it is a small scale battle between a handful of people does not matter. What matters is that we recognize the true purpose of violence and know its proper place and time. And when evil has been defeated we go back to our daily lives of peace and contentment. I think one of the saddest tragedies of the day and age we live in now of video games and gory movies is that we have desensitized ourselves to why we fight. No longer do we read of the glorious deeds of King Arthur and Robin Hood and the tales of their fighting against injustice. We have consumed the kind of wrong violence and now we are reaping what we have sown. Men no longer look to protect women, instead they take advantage of them. Recently on a "Primetime: What Would You Do?" episode, the example was a couple out on a first date and when the actress is in the restroom the actor slips a "drug" (actually sugar) into her drink. They wanted to find out if anyone would notice and if they did what would they do about it. It was sad to see people ignore, and in one case encourage the actor. But then when someone did step in to protect the actress you wanted to cheer. Our kids get in fights and shoot or stab each other over petty things instead of keeping an eye out for wrongs being committed and seeking to right them. Since they have filled their lives with examples of the violence on video games and movies/tv they no longer know how to stand up against the malevolent forces in this world. What if their heroes were not football players and actors, but figures in history and literature such as Robin Hood, Aragorn, High King Peter of Narnia, Pres. George Washington, Davy Crockett, Stonewall Jackson, King Arthur, Winston Churchill and the like? What if? What is it going to take before we deal with the root issue of the problem of senseless fighting? When will we realize that it is not the violence or fighting that is wrong, but what we use those tools for?

{ring in the new}

I had every intention of posting about once a week during December. *laughs* What was I thinking?! Fat chance of that happening during the holiday season, especially since I wasn't in the habit before. I can imagine my last post left you all wondering if I had gone off my rocker. Well I still haven't completely decided on the matter. Plus it was a rather bad time of year to bring it up. Best to talk of such things in the middle of summer when you're removed from the emotion of the season. Anyway...onto something pleasant and happy.

I have discovered a new song through who I think is one of the funniest people on the planet, Daniel Gardner. It's called "Sunray Smile" and was written and recorded by a fellow HomeschoolAlumni member, Amber Van Vleet. It's on the blog music player, make your ears happy and listen to it!

The only pictures I have to share are from last month's snow and other winter weather...

And now I am tickled pink for two reasons - 1) I got the link in a word thing to work (yay!), and 2) I drove all by myself today! Now I know what you're thinking, "She's 22 and hasn't driven alone yet?!" Well for starters I didn't get my license until I was 21 (long story), and secondly I don't have anywhere to go by myself. Yeah, my social life is one rung higher than that of a monk, but that's okay. I'm a homebody as it is anyway.

Have a great weekend everyone!

{questions}

As I type there is snow falling outside the window. And I am listening to a lovely rendition of "In the Bleak Midwinter" performed by Corrinne May. Check it out - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZC9C5kHL884 What a wonderful day to stay in and knit or craft! Or blog...

With Christmas approaching a friend and I are having a discussion on whether Christians should celebrate the holiday. The pagan roots of Christmas are well documented and so is the fact that Christ was not born on December 25. So, what do you do? Do you continue to participate in the festivities since it is now considered a Christian holiday or do you choose to refrain from because it really isn't a Christian holiday no matter how you try to reason away. We know from the OT how much God warned the Israelites to not practice any heathen rituals and I believe that the warning still holds true for modern Christians. In that light, Christmas should not have any place in a Christian home. That's right, no tree, decorations, presents or anything. This doesn't mean that you have to alienate yourself from family and friends that do keep Christmas as my friend assured me. On the other hand, if you hold to the reasoning that it is no longer a pagan holy day, though there are neo-pagans that do practice Saturnalia, then there is no problem. But what I wonder at most is for Christians that do realize the pagan root of Christmas why do we still celebrate it? Isn't that when it becomes a sin, when we know it's wrong but still do it anyway? Why not as a whole body decide to move our celebration of Christ's birth to the actual time of His birth? Now granted, it would not fall on the same day each year because the Hebrew calender is based on the lunar cycle, unlike our Gregorian calender which is based on the solar. Or even is it neccesary to celebrate Jesus' birth? We are not commanded to do so from the Scriptures, indeed the early church did not celebrate His birth. Nor even in early America was it lawful to celebrate Christmas.

Personally, I was raised with Christ as the center of the season. Never had Santa Claus. In fact, when I was a dinky do I told my grandma that Santa was a pagan. *laughs* She was shocked, needless to say. Instead, by using an Advent calender, I sat on her lap and read out the story of my Lord's birth. My family a few years ago stopped celebrating Christmas as Christ's birthday so we've already come halfway. Now we just enjoy the season of giving and as a European cultural holiday. Now as an adult I'm questioning the whole Christmas thing on all levels. Theologically, culturally, personally. What to do, what to think...

{give thanks}

Happy Thanksgiving to you dear readers! I just wanted to leave a quick note. Today is a day to remember and give thanks. So here are the things I'm thankful for -

~ My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ
~ Family
~ Friends
~ A happy home, good food and warm clothes
~ The talents and skills I've been granted so that I may serve God and others
~ Trials and hard times to remind me of the mercy of God
~ Pleasant times to remind me of the goodness of God

What will you give thanks for today? Wishing you a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving!

{remembrance}

Just one more week until my favorite holiday, Thanksgiving. A time to remember and reflect upon our rich history. I know that the leaves have fallen and the trees are bare, but there is an air of promise and hope. Maybe it's just the invigorating north wind blowing in my face. And yet, one cannot but think of how Fall is a picture of life. There are times when the joy is mingled with the sadness. When we realize that death and birth are necessary to each other, we become reconciled to the sadness and are able to embrace the joy. If the leaves did not fall, we wouldn't have flowers later. Then the flowers fade so the verdant foliage may break forth. It is the ultimate reminder that God's ways are perfect. Everything in due season. Everything in its time. I can see this in my own life. I do not like to be rushed. If I have a deadline, I'll take care of it, but don't push me. Socially, I was a late bloomer. I was a severe wallflower until a couple of years ago and used to be embarrassed about it but now I feel that it was for the best. I am still no social butterfly but I am at ease in society now. Enough about me...see, this is what happens when you are an only child.


I have added some Fall-ish/Thanksgivingy themed music to my player. I had the hardest time finding a Doxology that I liked. The one on the player wouldn't have been my first choice, but I really wanted to include Doxology and you could say this track grew on me. My best friends' family sometimes sings Doxology instead of saying a prayer before meals and they sound fabulous, so I think that is why I had a hard time finding one that sounded "right." I was hoping for an a capella version. I once saw someone call a capella cold and boring. They have obviously never heard what I hear every Sunday morning. My family goes to a church that sings without instruments. Oh the boxes we live in...

Now to tell you the story behind the pictures. Early in October I went out one morning to get some sunrise shots. I love doing this, except when I forget an empty dog food sack and come back in with a wet rear and knees. So I was walking along when I saw this spider web right in my path. The dew just sparkled on the fine filaments. God is awesome!

After I took several pictures of this wonder I turned aside so that I didn't disturb Mr. Spider thinking to myself what other marvels I would see that morning when lo and behold I caught sight of this...

A dragonfly with the dew still on its wings! Now that's something you don't see everyday. I stand amazed at the ingenuity of the Creator. These next two I took one evening a day later. I love Fall!

Whew, that was long winded. Sorry dear reader. I shouldn't ramble on so. But sometimes I just can't help myself...

{mini reunion or bust}

Last weekend my family traveled to Kansas City to go to the Homeschool Alumni Midwest Mini Reunion. I've been a member of HSA for a couple of years now and haven't been able to make it to one of the national reunions. So when I saw the MO mini reunion posted on the event board I was thrilled. And then ecstatic when I told my dear father about it and he said "we're going" before I even had a chance to ask. Late Friday morning we set off for our destination. About mid afternoon we reached the Cabela's store in KC and decided to stop and stretch our legs, again. I always enjoy going into Cabela's and looking around. While we were there we bumped into some other homeschoolers but they were not HSAers. Being homeschooled turns on some radar that allows you to pick up on other homeschoolers. No kidding. Anyway, then it was off to the campground to set up the tent before heading to HQ a.k.a. one of the other HSAers house that was hosting the event. We were the last ones in because of how long it took to just pick out a campsite. *sighs* But supper was cooking and the house was warm and inviting which was welcome relief after putting up a tent in the cooling temps of a Fall afternoon. After supper there was a Boggle tournament and other games plus lots of talking and laughter. I had a hard time staying awake and at one point had dozed off for a couple of seconds. But then a couple of friends shook the couch to make sure I would stay awake. Thanks guys. Needless to say I am not a night owl. I'm not exactly sure when we girls crawled into our sleeping bags (my parents had already left for the campground) but it was about 1 in the morning. Whew! Saturday was packed with activities. In the morning we went on a 3.8 mile hike around the lake at the local state park.

"The road goes ever on and on..."

Someone in our group decided to take a little detour and we thought he would catch back up before long so we didn't wait. Back at the parking lot and eating our picnic lunch he still hadn't shown up. So then we were worried. Just as we were planning a rescue mission he walked up. No Chris, we're not going to let you live this one down. Then it was off to the WWI museum in Kansas City.

Here's our reflection on the glass walk over the field of poppies and you can see the tower, too.

Very interesting and informative. Lots of artifacts, most of them original, to view. After that we dashed back to HQ to throw some grub down the hatch and change before the dance. It was my very first ECD and I loved it.

Here we are before the dance. Aren't mirrors handy for taking pictures!

Sorry to those whose toes I stepped on. We laughed 'til it hurt, which wasn't very hard. We danced The Hole in the Wall, the Gay Gordon, the Virginia Reel and another one I'm not sure of it's name.

The white blur dancing with the blue blur is yours truly.

Note to self: use shutter mode at next dance.

But now I'm hooked and don't know how long I can make it without another dance! When the dance ended it was back to HQ for dessert, more games, laughter and talking. We also had a few surprise visitors. Missionaries from Siam to be precise. There's something wrong with the leg on the last missionary. *laughs* Saturday night we stayed up until 2! I was able to remain awake a lot easier though. Sunday morning we had a time of scripture reading and prayer. Then my family left right before lunch and headed home. I wish it could have gone on forever. But life called and said it was time to get back to work. Bummer. Now I'm already thinking about next year...

Thanks to all my homeschool family for the wonderful memories made this weekend. We won't easily forget them.

{too cute}

I just had to share this. There's a gal at our church that is pregnant with her first child and I decided to knit a baby sweater for her. So I set off looking for a pattern. 1) it had to be free, 2) it had to be cute with a hipness about it and 3) be easy. I found a few patterns but narrowed it down to the Berroco "Baby Picchu." Well I finished it yesterday. I knit it in a different yarn than called for and didn't knit it exactly as the instructions called for. I only changed a couple of rows though, so that is why it doesn't look just like the one in the pattern pic. Here it is in pieces...

Drumroll please....ta-da! Sorry about the lighting being different.

And another angle. Thanks to my dear mother for crocheting the flower and the button loop. My very first sweater project, baby ones count too you know, completed. And I'm very pleased with how it turned out. Plus I think it is absolutely darling!

{transition}

Fall is in the air. The trees are beginning to change color, the birds are gathering and the pumpkins are setting on. Whoopee! I love Fall! This has definitely been a month of transition. Not just the seasons, but life itself. My birthday was earlier this month and I feel more like an adult than I ever have before. I don't know what it is about 22 because 21 didn't quite have this vibe. Maybe it's that I've been really considering what am I going to do. Looking at how I want my future to be and making the decisions now that will set me on that road. More transitions have been finishing the painting and putting in the flooring in my room. That allowed me to set up my bookcase and finally get my books out of their boxes. The poor things have been in the dark for four years. It was wonderful seeing my trusty companions once again. Except for the fact that with the books I've accumulated over the last few years, all my books did not fit on the shelves. Ahh! There was only one thing to do...eliminate. After that comes the creative stacking. Over the weekend I did some decorating on the shelves. Here are a few pics of some of the results.

This is on top. The white rose pitcher was found at a thrift store and I absolutely love it!

This is on a lower shelf. As you can see I haven't decided on a picture to put in the frame.

One of the upper shelves, not quite finished with this arrangement, but I like how the colors and textures mix. I really like the square frame, it's magnetic! Found it and the frame in the above pic on clearance at Target the other day. Can't find the picture I want to put in this frame. Argh. And in the frame on the right is my fantastic parents.

Have a great day!